I had a wonderful opportunity last night to hang out with a new friend of mine who is also battling late stage Lyme Disease. She invited me to an event at her church called “sisterhood,” and I got to laugh with a whole new bunch of ladies who also love Jesus. My friend and I drove around the city afterwards, playing Christmas music on the radio and looking at all the beautiful decorations down by the mall. The Royal Palms were absolutely gorgeous with white lights wrapped all the way up their trunks, and green lights outlining each frond. Coming from 4 seasons with snowy weather most of my life, it was a totally different experience for me. It is actually quite neat to be celebrating the season of Jesus’ birth in T-shirts and flip-flops!
It was also a different experience and rare occasion for two “Lymies” to be well enough at the same time to hang out, and I thoroughly enjoyed that brief 8 hours of feeling human again. Then morning came, and I started feeling as though I may have overdone it. Unfortunately as the day progressed, my symptoms got worse, and this damnable disease would not let up. Tonight I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear forever. I am tired of feeling sick and I am tired of trying to pretend I live a normal life. This is the reality of chronic illness, but I know I am not the only one suffering, and there are many people in this world who are so much worse off than I am.
It is during this helpless estate that the Holy Spirit showed me clearly that this verse in Isaiah 55 is in the near future, and there is coming a day when we will be happy and pain free for all of eternity. It is God’s plan for us to burst forth in song together with the mountains and hills one day. It is His plan that everything beautiful He has made for us in the creation will be waiting for that day when we are all set free to live in perfection with our Lord for all eternity. But that day hasn’t happened yet, and today I must face the reality of all the devastation that one little insect has caused in my life. Tonight I must fully rely on Him to get me through this intense burning pain, and tonight I must lay down on this bed and imagine one more time what it will be like to be set free forever and burst forth into song continually, never to look back with regret, or even remember this life. Tonight I must tell Jesus how very grateful I am that He has never let me stop hoping or believing in His promises, because He IS my only hope for enduring the disease and every other trial I go through in this world! I choose to be grateful, hopeful, and prayerful with all my sisters and brothers in this world filled with suffering!